The Medicine of Our Stories — Three Healing Phases of Storytelling
“Stories are medicine. I have been taken with stories since I heard my first. They have such power; they do not require that we do, be, act, anything — we need only listen.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés
The transformational healing journey often takes on phases.
These phases are connected with how we tell our stories, how they show up in our bodies, and how we shift our experience of them. The following phases have arisen from decades of going through a personal healing transformational journey. Along with studying transpersonal psychology at the masters level. And from my work with memoir writers who have experienced traumatic and/or challenging events in their lives.
Every memoir writer I’ve worked has said: Writing about their lives is excruciating at times; however, it is also completely rewarding.
Because when we move the trauma or the challenges of our experience from our brains, down our arms, and out our hands and fingertips into writing, we are activating a kinesthetic release. This kinesthetic release allows for clarity to come through about our stories and about our lives.
Writing creates the necessary distance and separation from our stories that we need to heal.
We don’t have to experience trauma to go through these phases of storytelling. We all have experienced some form of challenge. It’s part of being human.
When we tell our stories from a place of vulnerable strength — they become medicine for others.
Three Healing Phases of Storytelling :
Phase 1: Our stories rule our lives.
We have a tight grip on what the stories mean, how we were damaged including those to blame, and all of the challenging crap that happened. We may scream and yell or stay silent about our stories until we burst. We identify closely with our stories and are resistant to letting them go because they define who we are.
What to do:
This is when we need to journal. Get the stream of consciousness out on the page. And find health practitioners to help us titrate out our stories from our identities. Also having a regular movement practice helps to move the trauma of those stories out (yoga, chi gong, running, hiking, walking). Allowing emotions to arise and be felt. As long as we don’t indulge in any one thing — not the stories, the movement, the emotions, or the stagnation. Allowing them to move through.
Breathing in and breathing out, I am here.
Phase 2: Time to share.
In this phase we have increased our awareness of our defensive patterns. We know we have specific mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual patterns that show up as specific behaviors. Such as pleasing people, hating ourselves, hunkering down to not deal with others, controlling people and situations, going mentally rigid and avoiding emotions, or becoming overly emotional at the slightest occurrence.
What to do:
This is the time to write the stories down in a systematic way. Choosing potent memories and time periods and letting those move through you. Perhaps toward creating a book of stories. This is also the time to continue seeing health practitioners. Continue the movement practices, practicing amusement at how easily identified we are with certain stories, and moving toward greater clarity of what the stories give us in terms of lessons or gifts. We are beginning to accept that our stories help us to love ourselves, over and over again.
Breathing in and breathing out, I am okay.
Phase 3: Full acceptance.
We sit in meditation and feel the sensations of our stories within our bodies. These sensations can feel a bit rough: panic attacks, deep grief, anxiety like a troupe of ants crawling in the nervous system, or wave upon wave of digestive issues, coughing, or other pervasive sensations.
How to be:
Our job in this phase is to be present with the sensations. Without the story. It doesn’t mean the story doesn’t matter, it means that we’ve are no longer identified as much with the stories as we were in phase 2. Instead, in phase 3 we are more capable to be with the sensations, fully accepting the stories and the trauma that comes with them. Fully accepting that these stories make up who we are now. And it’s all okay. In fact, the lessons and gifts we’ve learned from these stories are also with us. Now it’s time to be present solely with the sensations and let them move through — wave after wave — into fully loving ourselves for who we are. Until we can love ourselves with and without the stories.
Breathing in and breathing out, I am present.
The Medicine of Our Stories
When we go through these phases, we are learning to love ourselves and others again and again. This microcosmic transformation has macrocosmic effects! Allowing the world to also move through healing transformation toward love.
Because when we give ourselves permission to share our stories, we open our hearts. Our stories give others permission to share. To heal through storytelling.
Let’s also remember that this healing stage of the Journey of Spiritual Transformation is there to open us to our soul selves. To release another layer of control and resistance so that our hearts feel okay to be in the world. So that if we feel like an exposed nerve, barely able to get out of bed or interact with people, we continue to allow ourselves to be okay — to know in our heart of hearts, our soul of souls, that we are on a journey and to trust that our process is bringing us exactly where we need to be.
And it’s messy and feels like crap and I don’t want to get out of bed and I just want to eat chocolate all day and it’s hard to let go of all of this resistance and and and . . . it’s okay.
The Eternal One — Infinite Spirit — is here with us. And we are here together in this tight knit community to share our stories and open our hearts to what it means to be humans with gargantuan souls in the world.
Much gratitude to ALL of the healers, light workers, listeners in the world — you know who you are. Those of us on the healing phase of our Journey of Spiritual Transformation, we love you and need you. So much gratitude.
Let’s have Clarissa’s quote again to soak it in: “Stories are medicine. I have been taken with stories since I heard my first. They have such power; they do not require that we do, be, act, anything — we need only listen.”
Writing Prompts:
- Write out in a stream of consciousness, without stopping for 5 minutes, all of the words that come to you from this sentence:
“I lost control of my self (my life) when . . .
Include how you felt when you lost control, when you gave up resistance, when life was standing over you like a hungry giant — how did you feel and what happened?! - Choose a potent story that needs to be shared. A story that’s been scratching at your heart asking to be let out. A story that has some messiness and also lessons learned.
- *Bonus* Write a scene with sensory details (scents, sounds, sights . . .) about a moment when you lifted yourself up from a deep healing place and became more true to who you are as a soul.
Blessings to you always and in all ways,
~ Regina
